Neither of us were worried before the surgery or going into RA's surgical followup appointment. We knew before the surgery that the odds were in our favor: the lumpectomy was low risk, and the odds of finding something "bad" were VERY low. I guess having a good understanding of math can work against you at times.
As we heard the bad news my brain kicked into overdrive. In computer terms, I started spawning many parallel 'threads' of thought: about losing RA, about how to tell the kids, raising two girls as a single father, never heard of angiosarcoma...
But outwardly, I don't think anything showed. At least to me, we both continued the visit with our surgeon in a very methodical, logical way. It wasn't until he left the examining room and RA started to get dressed that we let go.
And then we pulled ourselves together, left the room, arranged appointments, told our parents, and went back to work. Because it was the right thing to do. No, it was the only thing to do...
Neither of us really slept that night. In the coming week, while waiting to find out if this was the only tumor, I was going to discover how little sleep I actually needed to function.
